


The Error Of Our Ways

by Deanandhisbabyboy (NoSoulSammy)



Series: Drabbles/One shots Originally Written on (or inspired by) Instagram/Tumblr [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Edited/posted near 11 o'clock pm on Christmas so I might have to fix some parts, Episode: s08e14 Trial and Error, Established Relationship, Incest, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of attempted suicide, One Shot, Post-Episode: s08e14 Trial and Error, Self-Hatred, Sibling Incest, Wincest - Freeform, mentions of no rest for the wicked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-02 17:52:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2820998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoSoulSammy/pseuds/Deanandhisbabyboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam couldn't-wouldn't- let Dean get torn apart by Hellhounds again.<br/>He just couldn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Error Of Our Ways

**Author's Note:**

> I am still working on my other story "The Day The Doctor Learned How To Knock" but one of the many muses inside my head told me to finish my Walking DeadxSupernatural crossovers (which I'm almost done with one of them) but then another one of the muses suddenly whispered to me, telling me to write about Trial and Error (I love that episode). I originally was going to post this on my other account (a no Wincest account) but I decided to add my ship in it because why not?

* * *

 

Sam knew it was a risky move. He knew Dean wanted to do the trials because he believes he's just a grunt. He was just another lame, disappointing human being that had no chance at happiness at an ordinary life with a wife and kids with a house that had a stupid white picket fence.

Sam was close to punching Dean in the jaw, yelling at him, demanding that he shouldn't ever think of himself that way. If there was anyone who was just a disappointment it would be him. He got hooked on demon blood. He let Lucifer out of Hell. He almost ended the world. Not only that, but he let the one man that actually cared for him and keep him safe and loved him down multiple times. He abandoned the search for Dean, scared that the search would just confirm that Dean was dead. Gone. Never coming back.

No more second chances for Sam.

Sam saw Dean get torn apart by Hellhounds before. He watched as Jo sacrificed her own life just to spare Dean going through that hell again.

In a way, Sam wasn't conscience of his actions. The only thought running through his mind was _"gotta save Dean, can't let those hounds rip him away from me again."_ He knew it was selfish, but Sam was lost without his brother. Dean was the anchor in his horrendous life.

His mind went back to one of the many dark days when Dean was stuck in Hell, all because he had to sell his soul in order to rescue Sam's pathetic ass again. He once told a crossroads demon that he wanted to trade places with Dean. His soul in Hell and Dean's on Earth and eventually Heaven. Like it should be. The demon just laughed and declined the deal.

Sam had to learn how to live without his brother, his best friend, his lover. He had to learn, but he never truly did. He sulked everyday, his diet only consisting of alcohol and once Ruby introduced it to him, demon blood. He would wake up in sweat and tears, dreaming about Dean's grisly death, or worse, Dean's hands ghosting over his naked body. Sweet nothings whispered in his ear, Dean gliding his hands up Sam's torso pecking kissing on every inch of his skin, telling Sam how beautiful he was and proclaiming his love for Sam. Waking up from those hurt Sam the most, since he knew that he would never feel Dean's hands on his body, Dean's lips on his, Dean whispering loving words as they made love.

He wouldn't see the smile only meant for him ever again.

Sometimes Sam stared at his knife or his gun, contemplating on what would do a better job. He once swallowed pain pills but two minutes later he forced them back up and out of his system. He knew Dean would be disappointed that Sam took his own life when Dean sacrifice his.

Dean could live without Sam. Even though Sam truly doesn't want to believe it, Dean can live a stable life. It would only take a few months, maybe years, but Sam's death would be easy to move on from. But losing Dean, was something that he doesn't want to think about. It was a sin to the world. The world needs a Dean Winchester. Sam Winchester can be easily replaced, but not Dean. Not the love of his life.

He wasn't aware of when he grabbed Ruby's knife, nor when he was face to face with the Hellhound. As soon as he saw it's ghastly face, his only thoughts were keeping the damn creature away from Dean. He was dimly aware of stabbing the hound, but he didn't realize he cut it open until the black blood gushed out on top of him. Some landed in his mouth, and he quickly spit it out. He didn't know if the blood was the same as demon blood, but he wouldn't take that chance.

He looked over, seeing Dean lying down on the barn floor. Hay stuck to his shirt and jeans. Some was caught in his short blond hair. Dean looked over at him, eyes focused on the blood on Sam's shirt. Dean's eyes were a mix of disapproval and exhaustion and, looking closely, a bit of disappointment. 'Cause that's what Sam is in everyone's eyes. Disappointment.

Of course Dean had tried to read the spell. Of course there was no affect. Not until Sam tried it. The glow in his arm was sort of off. He wasn't expecting that. Nor was he expecting the pain coursing through his veins. The burning sensation engulfed his entire body. It almost felt like the fires Lucifer would set on him as one of his many, many torture mechanisms. But, as soon as the glow in his arm went away, the pain did as well.

It wasn't until after Sam said the spell did he realize why Dean was disappointed. Dean was disappointed that Sam had to save him and now has to undertake the trials when it should have been Dean. Killing a Hellhound would have been a noble way to die since almost no one has ever killed one, but of course Sam had to come in and steal that opportunity from Dean.

The ride back to the Men Of Letters bunker was too quite. Other than the Impala's engine purring and the horns of passing cars, neither brother dared to speak. Not even the radio or Dean's cassettes were playing. The events of the night echoed in Sam's mind, roaring loud. He was surprised that Dean couldn't hear them. One hour into the ride, Sam finally found his voice.

"Dean-"

"Not now Sammy."

"Dean I-"

"I said not now-"

"I can do this Dean." Sam noticed Dean's grip on the steering wheel tightening. "Dean, please trust me. I know it's a lot to ask of you, but I can succeed. I can complete these tests and close down Hell. Just please believe me."

Dean didn't respond. Instead he jammed the power button on the radio. Tom Petty's _Won't Back Down_ filled the car. Dean let out a huff in frustration and changed the channel, stopping on Linkin Park's _In The End_. "No good music on," Dean commented.

Sam knew Dean loved those songs. It just didn't seem right to play those after the events of today. Dean searched the channels again until he landed on _AC/DC's Shook Me All Night Long_. He blasted it up to the point where Sam thought his ears might bleed out. Sam sighed. Looks like Dean wasn't in the mood to talk.

His arm still burnt from the completion of the first trial. He scratched his arm, the burn only lessening but not completely leaving. One down, two more to go. And maybe then Dean can value his life and escape hunting and even enjoy his new life. Maybe Dean would finally be happy. Even if that life doesn't include Sam sitting in the passenger seat of the classic 1967 Chevy Impala beside Dean.

Sam was lost in his thoughts he almost missed Dean's hand seeking his. Dean gripped Sam's hand, slipping his fingers between Sam's. Sam looked at his hand, then at Dean.

"I do trust you Sammy," Dean squeezed Sam's hand while maintaining eye contact with him. Sam hadn't noticed Dean had pulled the car over or that Dean had turned off the radio until now. Sam looked down at his hands, but Dean cupped Sam's chin with his other hand, forcing him to look up.

"I'm sorry Sammy if you still think I don't trust you. I do. You are capable of doing this. You beat the Devil at his own game," Dean smiled at Sam and strengthened his grip on Sam's face when Sam tried to look away, "you can defiantly finish these trials. I believe in you, baby boy."

Whether it was the sudden praise or use of his nickname only reserved for Dean, Sam's heart started beating a little faster. Dean leaned forward and gently placed his lips on Sam's. Sam, after the initial shock wore off, leaned into the kiss.

The kiss wasn't heated like it had been the night before the showdown with Dick. It wasn't about a quick fuck or anything like that. It was slow, passionate. Dean took his time reacquainting his lips with the man he'd been dreaming about during his stay in Hell's backyard.

Sam's heart sped up. He closed his eyes, engrossed in the kiss. Dean placed a hand on Sam's head and ran a gentle hand through his chestnut hair. They haven't shared a kiss since Dean first learned that Sam had spent a year living a normal life with Amelia and the dog he hit.

Sam tilted his head a bit, deepening the kiss. The kiss wasn't about control, not domination. It expressed how the two felt being reunited after the long year. Dean slowly pulled away from the kiss, only because he needed to catch a breath. He cupped Sam's face, studying the younger man. He never really noticed how much Sam had changed over the lost year between them. Other than Sam's hair getting ridiculous longer and his hunting a little rusty due to the yearlong break, Dean realized that Sam had grown. His eyes told a story that most people couldn't bear to listen to, let alone to be a part of. All the years of loss, heartbreak, grief, pain, arguments, finally started shattering the hope in Sam's eyes. But tonight, Dean noticed something different. There was a hidden lust and love behind the iris's all this time, but after the first kiss they shared in over a year, the emotions finally began to show on the surface.

"Sammy, I promised that I would be by your side, no matter what happened. Although we both messed up in the past, I will always have faith in you." Sam was blown away with the response. Dean actually trusted him. Even after all the failures, disappointments, and lies, he still trusted Sam. Dean gave Sam another quick kiss before placing his hands on the steering wheel. "How 'bout we go back to the Batcave and celebrate our first Hellhound kill in my new memory foam bed?" Dean chuckled at the red spreading on Sam's cheeks. Dean smiled and started the car, pulled out onto the street and continued the drive back to Kansas. Dean stole a glance at Sam, thankful that he was lucky enough to have someone as special as Sam. Little did he know, Sam was thinking the same thing about the man in the driver's seat.

**Author's Note:**

> I plan on posting chapter 2 of my Doctor Who+Supernatural crossover this week but I hope everyone enjoyed this. I apologize if it seemed a bit rushed I wanted to post it today as a treat for everyone. I was gonna leave off with an angst ending but I decided to be nice to everyone this time. Don't think I'll be as nice next time :p
> 
> Merry Christmas and if I don't post chapter 2 of my DW+SPN crossover before the new year then I just want to say have a happy new year!


End file.
